Photo Post Kid

I want a boy bestfriend who will call me beautiful, and like my photos on facebook, commenting them saying things such as the fact he’s proud to have me as a bestfriend. One that I can call up, crying about other boys, and him saying he’ll beat the shit out of them for me. A boy bestfriend who will drive me around like he’s my big brother, and kiss me on my cheek/forehead when he knows I’m upset. One who becomes friends with my boyfriend and one who calls me up to see what I’m doing. I want a boy best friend who will tell me when I’m wrong, and force me into fixing things and apologizing because he knows that it will make things better for me. I just want a boy best friend, who will love me and protect me from all the other boys.

(Source: fucck-what-they-think, via whatisthiscrazythingwecalllove)

Photo Post Kid

That dream. I don’t know what it means. I never dream. And when I do, they always mean something or ends up happening weeks later.
It was jut to shocking me to. I was at peace. I was happy. Without a care. All I saw were tan feet with an ankle bracelet on in the sand. The sand was white and the sun was at its brightest. I think that was the best 2 seconds of sleep I have gotten in a long time. Anyways…
I tried changing Logan’s mind. And all he said was no and no and no. I was speechless. I was bawling my eyes out just waiting for him to text me back or even answer. He doesn’t know I’ve never been like that. He may be use to it, but I’m not..
And everyone that knows what’s going on just tells me the same old shit ”yup that sounds like Logan.” or “I’m sorry Logan did this, you dot deserve it.” so basically, it makes me think he lied to me about everything and how he’s not like that. I don’t know how I missed it. How I was so stupid to believe that it was different. That he was different. You know, I don’t deserve being sad and walked away from all the time. All I wish that I could say right now is FUCK YOU. But I can’t, because you know damn well I am waiting for that text from you that’s never gonna come and run right back into your arms.. And what’s even more sad. This has all been over. Phone. Not in person. Matter of fact. It was over text.
But whatever. I told him that I’d leave him alone now, it’s so hard to sit at school and not cry. By god, I fell asleep crying. And I woke up crying and haven’t stopped ever since.
Tanner an Ally are the only other people that I have. They came to me through all this. When I saw tanner, he just hugged me. And Ally, sat there and listened. Those two are the greatest and stronger people that I have ever met. And if it’s anyone giving me my hope and strength right now, it’s those two. They deserve the world.
But that doesn’t change the fact that I want you back :(
Logan, I will pray everyday to be back with you. I promised.

Photo Post Kid

Photo Post Kid

Photo Post Kid

Last night in a dream, I found myself at peace. I can’t quite describe it, but I was fine. No worries, hurt or pain.
I will find that place, even if it kills me.

I’m sorry that when text you, you don’t reply. I’m sorry that I thought every night you would text me that i let myself believe there was something there. I’m sorry for being myself. I’m sorry for trying to be your favorite thing on the weekends. I’m sorry for trying to make it work. I’m sorry for treating you as if you were the only boy I saw, because you were. I’m sorry for revolving my nights around you. I’m sorry for falling for you. I’m sorry for being honest, nice, caring, and good to you. I’m sorry for trying so hard. I’m sorry for not being good enough for you.

But mostly, IM SORRY FOR BEING IN LOVE WITH YOU. I’m sorry.

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